Overshare much?

One issue that seems to often crop up with the beautiful souls I work with is over-sharing.

 

With each relationship we have there is a context to it and a level of emotional intimacy. Oversharing is when we go too far, too fast for that relationship to take. Like telling a new colleague about your family drama. It takes time to build trust and space for growing intimacy to occur.

 

How do you know if you are over-sharing or just being open and vulnerable?

It can help to look at WHY you are sharing something. Is it to quickly cement a relationship? Is it to fill silence? Is it to gain sympathy? Or are you feeling anxious? Is the other person looking uncomfortable?

These can all be signs you are oversharing.

How to stop oversharing

  • Understand why you overshare and what your triggers are, so you are better prepared.

  • Before you share something, ask yourself why you are sharing and check in with how you are feeling. Are there any of the above warning signs?

  • Consider how your sharing will benefit the other person and yourself and if you don’t see how, reconsider sharing.

  • Think about what level this relationship is at – is this a stranger, an acquaintance, a friend or bestie? What sorts of things have they shared with you?

  • Ask for permission to share, particularly if it is something sensitive or deep. Then you will know if the other person is ready and willing to listen.

  • Remember that in most cases healthy relationships grow in intimacy over time and gradually share more.

What is your experience? Have you ever over-shared and regretted it?

 

If you would like some further relationship support, reach out and book in a chat with me.